I Don't Like Feeling Blah

Just The Facts, Jack will be a recurring advice column.

Dictated, not written (opposable thumbs, y'all), by Jack Commons, each column will bring a superior solution to your sad and pitiful human failings and foibles.

Jack Commons is a supreme being in the guise of a plush grey tomcat. He lives an impeccable life in Wisconsin, supported by a full household staff.

JUST THE FACTS, JACK

Dear Jack,

I’ve been feeling really flat lately. What I mean by

that is that I don’t feel particularly sad or bummed out, but I also am not able to feel a lot of joy lately either. It’s really making me feel defeated and my cravings seem higher. While I know that alcohol won’t truly improve my mood, it really feels like it can’t hurt sometimes. I don’t like feeling so blah. Any advice?

Dear Hooman,

First let me say that I’m not a doctor, so there’s that. Of course as a cat I am superior in all ways to all beings, but still. If this feeling is really persistent talk to your doctor to make sure your physical health is on point. 

There is a word for this - it’s called anhedonia, or the feeling of a lack of pleasure.  It can sometimes happen for an underlying reason, but sometimes it just happens situationally. We all have a lot on our minds lately - pandemic, social unrest across the world, my mom not giving me treats every single minute of the day, the stress is real!

When I feel like this, when even licking my haunches isn’t bringing me joy, I try to remember that I do have some control and that I can change my strategy, my story, or my state. Sometimes I change strategy, like I get more exercise by zooming around the house after I poop. Sometimes I change my story from “I am the best cat ever” to “I AM THE BEST CAT EVER!” And sometimes I change my state by napping, or napping in a different spot. All this is to say that it happens, don’t be too scared of it and embrace the things you can change.

As for alcohol, come on now. I mean, I’m a cat and even I know it’s not going to help. Sure, sometimes I feel the pull to nosh on catnip when I feel down, but it does the same thing as alcohol - it gives me 20 minutes of lift and then it slams me down. Then I want more catnip banana, then I start acting crazy, them mommy puts me in a room, then I scratch at the door and howl hateful things….it’s not worth it, people. It’s just not worth it. 

So basically, as always, just know that you’ll never be as good as a cat. BUT, you are pretty good just as you are, even when times feel kind of blah. If you need to talk, don’t call me because I’m a cat, and I am always losing my cell phone. Do call on your friends in the Freedom Family, on your family or friends or even your doctor if you feel flat for too long or you have really negative thoughts. While you will never reach the level of cat, you are worthy in your own weird human way!

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